To coin the phrase from a pretty wise woman… some things are just WRONG! Like feeling condemned. Feeling condemned is not of God, and is not a godly thing. Condemning. It’s not okay to do it back to someone when you’ve been wronged. Not loving. Condemning = no love. Not to say that you don’t love a person overall when you act foolishly, but in those moments – its not love. You are usually speaking from a place of pain, and a feeling of being wronged. It is not okay. And I know that. So.. why do I do it? Do I need to speak up before it comes to a point of just letting it all out? Perhaps. But perhaps I need to have more of my Daddy’s love on me. More grace for people. More love. It all comes down to love… so what am I so afraid of?
You know who you are.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being selfish.
I’m sorry for not giving you the love that you deserve.
I’m sorry for kicking you when you were down.
I’m sorry I condemned you in return for feeling condemned.
I’m sorry I don’t always listen to you.
I’m sorry that we argued.
I’m sorry that I let you down (again).
I’m sorry that you have been dealing with what you have been.
I’m sorry that it got bad enough for you take it out on me.
I’m sorry that I didn’t just let you, and that I instead wasn’t there for you.
I’m sorry for me.
I’m sorry for not treating you like a princess.. like the princess that you are.
I’m sorry for pushing you away.
I’m sorry for making excuses when I feel the need to defend myself.
I’m sorry that I feel like I need to defend myself.
For putting salt in the wound.
For dishonoring you.
For letting Satan get in my head and use me against you.
For not stopping when you asked me to the first time.
For not letting my actions show that I love you.
For trying to fix you.
For not always accepting you for all of who you are.
For not loving you unconditionally.
For not letting God’s love cross this great divide (between you and I).
For doing everything I should not have done.
For not doing everything I should do.
For seeking validation from you.
For thinking that you don’t love me.
Thinking of you,
Praying for you,
Hoping that you’ll forgive me,
With Much Love,
I Love You.
I needed to get that out, and I do mean each word. I know it probably doesn’t mean much to the person it’s intended for. But I am hoping and praying it does mean something. Honest emotions aren’t always pity parties. Sometimes they are if you wallow in them. But if its a place where you’re at and not wanting to be there, and truly trying not to be – that isn’t a pity party. That’s a place of hurt and a perfect place for prayer. I’m glad I was in such a place; but instead of praying. I did the foolish thing. No, I didn’t wallow in it. But, I acted harshly. I pray that I can be reminded of my flaws daily.. but in that reminding, I strive to change, accept correction, and that those in my life that God has placed there – would be the encouragement that I need. I know I’m not perfect, and I never will be. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to get there =).