heavy and light

How can one’s heart be so heavy and weighted down, yet so light and free at the same time?

That’s where I’m at.  My heart is heavy because I just discovered some things about my sister’s boyfriend that I do not like:  He’s 26 (she’s 20 – which in and of itself isn’t really a big deal), and he’s an atheist (not a surprise mind you).  my heart is heavy.  My sister needs Jesus.  But only Jesus can save her, not me.  I hurt for how much I know she needs Him.  My heart is heavy for my mom and my dad.  They need Jesus too!  The real Jesus.  Not the one they’ve formed in their own image to call themselves a believer of God.  Jasmine needs to fall in love with her Savior for real.  Not for attention.  Not because life will be easier.  She just needs Him. For Real.  Courtney’s mom, too, needs Jesus.  And her dad.  And her sisters.  Her sisters need to know they are loved.  Her grandparents.  Jesus! LET IT BE!  Yes, my heart is heavy.  Austin needs to not let the situation with Jasmine consume Him.  He can only be consumed by his love for Daddy!  Caitlyn needs to figure out how she feels.  Not because she should feel a certain way, but to move on.  No more depression in Jesus’ name!

Wow, that sure is A LOT!  With all of that, one would think my heart would be nearly in hell by now.  Not so!  My heart also feels so light.  So free.  Why?  Because I have the love of my Savior on the inside of me.  The Holy Spirit lives in me!  Because I have the best freaking girlfriend in the entire world!  To coin a phrase made popular by my favorite Elf..  I’m in love I’m in love I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!  Her visiting me today, was amazing.  We went on TWO walks!  (WOW!)  We watched a movie.  We kissed a couple of times (crossed a boundary).  She realized she loves me ‘too much’ to continue to push me, PTLHA (Praise The Lord Hallelujah Amen).  She opened up to me in a very soul-connecting way. Oh how I love thee my lovely love!  I get to hold you in my arms again in a little over a week!  (and maybe a little bit later today)!  So, why else am I light and free?  Oh!  TEC Team meeting tomorrow (well, later today at this point), and it’s going to be fantastic!  Why else?  HMM!  Austin and I got to have our Wii battle the other night.. I kicked his butt! (hehe)!  I am glad the situation that is present in our lives happened when it did.  God DOES work in mysterious ways! =)  Why am I light and free?  Because I know that the things my heart is heavy about will melt away in the presence of the life changing King of kings!  I know that those things matter to God because they matter to me!  I know He is in control.  I have the love of my Daddy, the love of my future wife, and the love of amazing friends all around me!  My heart is light.  My heart is free.  It is full of joy because satan will NOT steal my joy.

Thank You Jesus for creating in me a clean heart.  One that is full of joy and love.  One that is light and free.  I ask that you w0uld do a work in the lives of those my heart is heavy for!  I know You are in control.  I surrender these things to you.  I cling to You.  The author and perfecter of my faith.  Satan: YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY JOY!   In Jesus’ Name.  AMEN!

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