Who do you say that He is?

Greetings readers. I will be writing a follow-up post to my last one. I have received a lot of questions and comments about it, as well as I have am feeling led to address some of the arguments against the truth found in God’s word, a little more directly. But, that is not what this post is for.

This last weekend my church held a Luke 18 Regional Conference. While there God spoke and showed me a few different things.

What I wanted to do was write about them as a means to help me process some of what The Lord showed me.

When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, “Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?” So they said, “Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”

– Matthew 16:13-15 NKJV

Think about that. Who is Jesus to YOU? Is He the one that your pastor preaches about? Maybe the one a friend told you about? Or maybe your mother or father told you about Jesus. Who do YOU say that He is?

Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.

– Matthew 16:16-18 NKJV

You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. We NEED a revelation of who Jesus is. The revelation of who Jesus is gives us our identity. And look at Jesus. He builds His church… His ekklesia not on the foundation of Peter. Peter isn’t the rock. Jesus is the rock, and on the revelation of who He is, He builds His governing body in the earth! Wow!

We MUST find our identities in the revelation of who Jesus is. If we don’t, we’ll only look to the world and the culture for our identity — for example the lie of the homosexual agenda which seeks to destroy this nation. A day is soon coming and is already coming to pass that He is turning the hearts of the fathers toward their sons and the hearts of the sons toward their fathers. This isn’t a gender-based statement. He’s really doing it. And America will soon see an outbreak of revival!

And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

– Matthew 16:19

All authority in heaven and on earth was given to Jesus, and He gave that authority to us on this earth! It is for freedom that we are set free. We cannot bind something that we ourselves our bound to. To see strongholds die in the lives of those around you and in the culture, they must first be crucified in your own life. But How? WHO DO YOU SAY THAT HE IS?

I’ll soon be joining the college students in this region on a 21 day fast. I’m not sure what it looks like or how I’m going to be able to complete it. I don’t say this to boast about it. But I know I need to do it. I’m not a college student anymore, but I know the burden. My house is on the edge of the downtown area of Mankato, but its not far from the center of so much deception – the Jezebel dominion has gone on for long enough. Her kingdom MUST be thrown down in this region! Most every house around me houses off-campus college students.

I hope I’ve at least made some sense so far. I’m mostly repeating what I am remembering. I’ve said all of that to now go on to talk about a couple of visions and a word that He gave to me.

During the first night of the conference, during worship, I looked at my left hand, and was wearing my wedding ring [I'm not married yet]. I felt it on my finger! Instantly He showed me something two fold. It was assurance of my salvation and that I will one day be among those marrying The Lamb! Secondly, He showed me that I is and will be by my side in my marriage to Courtney. That He will lead me to lead her. My security is in Him and Him alone!

Next, he showed me a vision of my holding my children that I will one day have. They were babies, and I was praying for and over them. Singing to and over them. They had so much joy on their innocent faces I couldn’t help but be filled with joy myself! I am still in such awe of our amazing Daddy!

On the 2nd night God showed me something once I was home. I took my dog outside, and I looked toward the old courthouse, which is just across from where I live, and I saw 4 different assemblies happening at once. One was like The Call, one was like what we’ve had here with Eddie James before. And two others I wasn’t quite sure what they were. Today I think one of them was something like a Onething regional, but I’m not quite sure. At any rate, over the courthouse in a massive rainbow was one word: Revival. And then Robin Mark’s song Revival played through my head. REVIVAL IS COMING! Amen!

Well, that’s all for now. Blessings!

From Being Gay to Wedding Day

Disclaimer: This blog post is intended for mature audiences only.

So there I was. Home alone. Snooping around looking for where my parents had hid my Christmas presents. And then I found it. My father’s porn magazine stash. A big drawer in the side of my parents bed, chock full of intensely graphic images. At 10 years old, my first exposure to the adult female and male bodies. I was drawn to the images of the naked human body. A woman’s smooth perfect breasts and of course the lower half as well. And the perfect male body – six pack and erect penis. Often times the two bodies would meet. I tried to put them away, and leave them there, but I was already addicted.

Several weeks went by, and I would sneak a glance frequently, not even caring about those Christmas presents anymore. Obsessed with the images I was looking at. Then I started to take some out of the drawer and keep them in my room. I would hide them behind my bed. One day my mom was helping me clean and decided to clean behind my bed. Busted. But did she do anything? Not really. She told my dad. Neither of them really cared that this had happened, only told me to stop doing it. Of course this didn’t help.

And then sometime when I was 11, I had a friend over, and we were by ourselves, and I had him hang on a minute in my room, while I went to grab a couple of the magazines. This wasn’t his first exposure. But behind the closed door of my room and my closet, we looked at them. And we both started to feel things. One thing led to another, and before I knew what was happened we were touching each other.

Oh boy was it exciting! He went home, and then the next time he was over we did it again, only we went further. And then we repeated it. And again, further. One of us would roleplay the female, and copy to the best of our young abilities what was happening in the magazines. Eventually, we didn’t need the magazines.

As time went on, I developed quite a liking for men. I still liked the look of the female body, but men is what did it for me. I was gay. Even after I went to TEC, and got ‘saved’ and became a Jesus freak. Still a homosexual. Still loved by God. Still forgiven from all sin.

By the time I exited high school and entered college I had many different hookups. After I moved to Mankato, that number increased almost exponentially (at least in comparison to what I had in a small town). I loved sex with men, I never got too emotionally attached as that was not the type of guy I was meeting, though there were some I almost entered into a relationship with.

On May 19th of this year (2012) I will be getting married. To the most wonderful and beautiful woman on the face of this planet. Woah! What happened in the last few years? Well that answer is simple. I CHOSE to be straight. Contrary to popular belief in today’s culture and society, homosexuality is a choice. Recently I started seeing a picture of Jon Stewart floating around Facebook with the following quote on it: “Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have for religion — we protect religion. And talk about a lifestyle choice — that is absolutely a choice. Gay people don’t choose to be gay. At what age did you choose to not be gay?” Well Mr. Stewart, I have an answer for you. Age 21.

At 21 years of age I made a conscious choice to be straight. I didn’t have sex with a woman to make this choice, either. To this day I am still a virgin when it comes to females (not to say I’m a virgin period, because I’m not). God has certainly helped me with this choice. If I didn’t have Jesus would I have still made this decision? I cannot say for certain. What I do know having lived the homosexual lifestyle, is that God does love us right where we are at, homosexual or not. I will never dispute that God is madly in love with homosexuals as much as He is in love with the saints (not to say that all straight people or even all ‘Christians’ are saints). But love does not necessarily equal universal acceptance. Homosexuality is sin. Along with many others. But lets not try and say it isn’t because the bible is old fashioned or the old testament doesn’t apply, or the plethora of other reasons people give. God forgives us for our sins through the finished work of Jesus on the cross and rising from the grave. But God cannot excuse our sin, nor does He cover it up. Each time we sin – ANY SIN – we have participated in nailing Jesus to the cross. Because of this, God is able to infinitely love us and remember our sin no more. But we must stay in repentance. Or we will inevitably fall out of love with Jesus, if we ever were in the first place.

Do I hate homosexuals? No. I have several homosexual friends. My future mother in law is a homosexual, and I love her. Do I have to accept and like her choices? No. But it is her CHOICE, and I love her.

Homosexuality is a sin. All sin happens because of the choices we as humans make. Thus, and my life is a living testimony of this fact, homosexuality is a choice.

In conclusion, this blog post is not meant to bash anyone, and I don’t believe I have done that. I welcome questions and comments, please keep them appropriate and free from hate. I will answer all questions to the best of my ability, and I will also probably blog about this more, depending on your response.

Blessings All,
- Josh

I love you because I love you because I love you…

Ever since I’ve known Courtney, she has been fascinated with clouds.  With how the sun causes the clouds to look.  Within the last 6-12 months God has used clouds to remind me of Himself and Courtney.  So often I see a beautifully painted sky, and instantly I smile and think of Courtney and feel incredibly blessed to have the honor of loving and being loved by her.  On my way home from visiting Karlee in Rochester with Courtney, for a matter of minutes, this was the picture God gave me.  As soon as I took this picture, He dumped into me the following amazing word of love for Courtney and I:  ”I love you my son and my daughter, I love you more than my painted sky.  I paint the sky to point you to Me.  I love you because I love you because I love you.  You are precious to Me, and I have brought you two together to be a blessing to Me, each other, and each person you encounter.  Do no despise small and humble beginnings.  Do not despise the unknown.  I will take you to places you cannot even begin to imagine.  I love you!” – Daddy.

Pinky & The Brain

Wow. I haven’t posted in a very long time. Even more wow. The title of my post. I’m not sure who of you are familiar with Pinky and The Brain. They’re part of a cartoon from years ago. I have posted a picture below for your reference.

Approximately one month ago, I felt that The Lord spoke to me. All He said was “Pinky and The Brain”. I hadn’t a clue what it meant. I see an image of them nearly every night at work when I go to the break room. I was thinking that maybe I was supposed to pray for the guys that work in that office. Or maybe I just imagined the whole thing because of seeing that image so often.

Tonight, I went to an awesome worship service in Le Sueur, MN. A band was there called Firestarters. It was an awesome time, and I connected with the Lord in a way I haven’t in a very long time. That’s not to say I haven’t prayed, or worshipped, or even heard from Him — but this was just so intimate. Approximately 2 months ago I started reading a book by Banning Liebscher, titled Jesus Culture: Living a Life That Transforms The World.

Around the time God spoke to me about Pinky & The Brain, I stopped reading the book. I got busy. Life happened, as it so often does. After tonight’s worship time, I decided that I needed to start reading the book again. And BAM! Suddenly it was clear. I will post word for word what Liebscher has to say about Pinky & The Brain. And it will make sense to you too.

I’ve been telling young people for years that I want to change the names of Christian clubs to ‘Pinky and the Brain’ clubs. For those who don’t know who Pinky and the Brain are, please let me explain. Years ago I used to watch a cartoon show called Animaniacs. Part of the show was called ‘Pinky and the Brain.’ It was about two mice, one called Pinky and one called Brain. Pinky was a tall, gaunt, dopey-looking mouse that was intellectually challenged. Brain was a short, stocky mouse with a planetary head containing his humongous brain. Every episode was based on the same premise. Pinky and Brain would try to concoct a plan to dominate the world. Their plans were all destined to fail, but at the end of each show, Pinky would turn to Brain and ask this question: ‘Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow?’ With an expression of steely determination, Brain would turn to Pinky and answer with enormous confidence, ‘We are going to do what we do every day: try to take over the world!’

Pinky and the Brain clubs. I can see the movement now, fueled by students gathering together to take over the world. Imagine club members Johnny and Cindy, whose dedication is to see their lives radically shake their campus for Jesus. When Johnny is dropped off for school, Cindy is waiting for him. She asks, ‘Johnny, what are you doing today?’ He turns to her with conviction surging in his eyes. ‘Cindy, I’m going to do what I do every day: try to take over the world!’ Just an hour before, Cindy had rolled out of bed and walked into the kitchen to grab some breakfast. As she sat down to eat breakfast, her mom had turned to her and asked, ‘Honey, what are you up to today?’ Cindy had wiped the sleep from her eyes and responded, ‘Mom, I’m up to the same thing I’m up to every day. I’m going to try to take over the world!’

You are called to take over the world. You are part of a revolution. You are appointed to overthrow the government of darkness that has enslaved people in sin and sickness and to establish the Kingdom of Light on earth as it is in Heaven. Our revolution is not a worldly anarchy of violence and control; it is a Heavenly reformation of truth spoken in love and demonstrated in supernatural power. We are armed with uncompromising love and the power of God. You were never created to hide, cowering in some corner, subordinate to evil. Rather, you were born to step out in the midst of plagues of darkness — to stand between the living and the dead and terminate plagues!

So what is God’s intention by saying “Pinky and The Brain” to me? It means He has called me to take over a hurting world with His love and His power. He has called me to sound the alarm, and be a world changer and a world shaker. He had called me to have daily passion for this. As I restore His place in my heart to First Love. This is the Anthem of my heart, the Anthem of my generation. Shake our nation, God. Shake the nations! Restore Holiness to Your temple! Restore healing and peace to the wounded, lost, and hurting in this world!

Well I’m out! Blessings to you, my readers! I pray that each of you would see your God given destiny, and walk in it! I pray that each of you would encounter God the way He would have you encounter Him today. That His Glory would shine down over your lives. So be it! AMEN!

The Missing Piece

It all comes down to love, so what am I so afraid of? Love. It’s the missing piece to every broken heart, every hopeless situation. Every feeling of shame and guilt. Have you ever put together a puzzle.. and discovered a piece was missing? I have. Often times, that one piece creates a huge eyesore and the puzzle is then pretty worthless without that one piece. And so it is with the pieces of our life. Or is it?

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of feeling worthless — shame and guilt after you just masturbated, after telling yourself for the hundredth time you weren’t going to do that anymore.

Perhaps instead you have spent more money than you have, and got yourself into some financial trouble.

Or maybe you’re one of those crippled by anxiety and depression.

Maybe your worthlessness has drove you to cut or inflict injury upon yourself.

Or maybe your life isn’t this bad, and you just deal with the ordinary everyday challenges this life brings our way.

Whatever your situation – its not hopeless, and our lives, with the one “missing” piece is not worthless. For you see, Love — Jesus, is always there. Always waiting. Never lost. Not only is this piece that seems to be missing from so many of our lives not lost — when accepted and put in it’s rightful place in our hearts, all of the broken pieces of our shame and guilt, our suffering, our mistakes — is made new.

Love Never Fails.

– 1 Corinthians 13

Image Copyright © Sevenapples Christian Art

I haven’t posted in awhile, but felt great desire to this morning. We’ll see what else God does in my heart to lead me to write/post. Love you all!
- Josh

It Starts in the Heart

Since hearing a teaching at my church that dealt with the topic of living by grace, and my pastor pointing this fact out, The Lord has kept it on my mind. Earlier this morning, there was a post (now deleted) on the International House of Prayer’s facebook page that talked about living a consecrated life, because what we do now determines how we will spend eternity. Some people agreed. Others disagreed, citing Ephesians 2:8. I agree that how we live now determines how we will spend eternity, with the perspective of Ephesians 2:8, Romans 6, and Jesus’ own words in Matthew 5.

People often say that they are saved by grace, and so that they can live how they choose, citing human rights, or how they live doesn’t really matter, and that they aren’t bound by the law of the Old Testament. People often say that “well God knows my heart”. He does know your heart, and its filthy and He desires to change it because He loves you too much to let you stay the way you are! If you can find a spot in The Word where it says that “God knows my heart” and the implication of it is that you can live however you want, please show me! Jesus came to fulfill the law… also, look at Jesus’ words from Matthew 5 (vs 21-48), as He takes it a step further, and determine for yourself which is the higher standard. The Law? Or Jesus?

Murder Begins in the Heart
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.

Adultery in the Heart
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Marriage Is Sacred and Binding
“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

Jesus Forbids Oaths
“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

Go the Second Mile
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

Love Your Enemies
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.
- Matthew 5:21-48 (NKJV)

How often is it that Jesus does this? It’s so opposite to our way of thinking. I guess that’s why He was fully man AND fully God. He came saying only what His Father said. So which is the higher standard? The Law? Or Living Under Grace? I think The Word speaks for itself here.

The Bible doesn’t say you will know them by their church attendance, it says that you will know them by their fruits. Examine your heart. Is whats in your heart producing fruit in the Kingdom? If so, GREAT! Keep going. If not, determine to do so, and then, do it. Asking God for all that you need!

Living under grace does not mean that we can be lukewarm. Jesus says in Revelation that the lukewarm church will be spit from his mouth. It is better to be hot or cold. In other words, if you’re only gonna do it half way, it would be better for you to not do it at all. I challenge you all to determine to be, and to be hot and on fire. And if you aren’t, then don’t only do it half way.

Direction

Direction, not intention, determines destination…

The Lord has kept it on my heart since I dropped out of school at Minnesota State University in March of 2009 about what direction I’m going in this life.  Will I finish school? If so, will it be MSU or some place else?  Will it be the same major or something completely different?  Will I just work the job I have all of my life?  Having a destination in life is great, but we need to take a certain path to get there.
This world is full of people with great intentions of doing great things, but far too many people settle for mediocrity in so many areas of their lives.  Not only does this apply to something like college, but it applies to so many things in this life.  Love, finances, sexuality, adultuery, anger, pride, offensiveness.  This is of course not an exhaustive list, but a list of some of the big things I have dealt with and currently deal with.

I can intend to love, but if I don’t take the path of love, how will I ever get there?

I can intend to save money, give to the poor, to the Kingdom, but if I don’t actually do it, what difference does it make?

I could have intended to be free from struggles with sexuality, but until I actually got serious with God and went on the path of freedom, I would have never received freedom.

I could have intended to be free from struggles with pornography and lust in general, but again, until I got serious about getting free, and getting on that path, I could have never even leigtly though about suceeding.

I could intend to not be angry or frustrated easily, but unless I actually work on it and get on the path, I will never reach the destination.

I could intend to lay down my pride, but unless I actually attempt to do so, I will never be humble.

I could intend to not be easily offended, but unless I consciously think about not being offended, I’m going to always be offended.

I think you get the idea.  If I’m going one way or doing one thing, and I need to be doing another, I don’t just need to follow a set of rules or guidelines, I need a complete change of direction.  Just like when you’re driving or walking or running or biking or whatever you’re doing.. when you’re lost you don’t need a solution, you need a new direction.

Which direction are you going?  Maybe you’re going many directions with the same destination: death and destruction.  Or maybe you’re going in many directions with a different destination: freedom and being alive.  Or perhaps you’re going in many directions, working on many things, some leading to death, others leading to life.  I encourage you all to examine yourselves.  See what directions you need to keep going in, and what directions need to change.  Don’t just focus on the ones you need to change, because then you’re only setting yourself up for failure, and our gracious God does not want any of us to fail!

A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. – Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)

Different

I do not read a lot. I enjoy reading when I do it, but I tend to read in bursts.. a reading binge so to speak. I have always been this way. Since becoming a Christian, God has used this quality in me to really speak to me in books by various authors exactly when I needed it. Sometimes I can take notes on what I read, most of the time, I read and comprehend, and don’t really take notes.

This of course poses a problem when I read my bible… I can be very similar. I often read it in bursts. I am working on changing this aspect when it comes to the Bible. But is it really necessary for me to change that in reference to other books (fiction or non). At this time, I really don’t think so.

My girlfriend loves to read. Some might call her a book worm. She loves to take notes when she reads non fiction Christian books, she loves to take notes when she reads her bible, as God speaks to Her through His Word, and the study notes =). And I find it to be a very admirable quality in her. I am glad that she is able to do that (after all, reading and writing tends to be her way of learning, and expressing in a healthy way).

Clearly, my girlfriend and I are not the same. We’re different. We are different people. We are different genders (Thank God)! We do share similar likes and dislikes, but we also are different in some areas. We carry different view points on some things. We have different personalities. We both have different pet peeves. We have different buttons of pressure. Levels of stress. Things that stress us. Different jobs. Different parents (also, Thank God)! The list can go on and on.

God created us this way. We do have our similarities (which make us a compatible couple), but we also have our differences (which makes life exciting). Our similarities and differences work together to teach us. About God, about each other, about life, about friendships, relationships, any number of things can be learned.

Some months ago (toward the beginning of the year), Courtney gave me a book called Crave: Wanting so Much More of God, written by Chris Tomlinson. When I first got it from Amazon.com, I thought I had ordered it! Then I realized when I read the gift slip that she got it for me. She wanted to do something for me. I felt like a big jerk for thinking I had ordered it, when she really had. I still do sometimes when I think back on it. Thank God she does have grace for me! I got through the first seven chapters within a few weeks, it was an exciting read, thought provoking, convicting at times, and just perfect for me at the time! Then I put it down… for at least three months, probably longer. This is normal for me (granted I do not set my bible down for this long)… Thank the Lord for that!

I picked it (Crave) up tonight and read chapter 8: Different. The chapter was equally thought provoking, exciting, and convicting! Had I read the book all the way through three months ago, or however long its been, I probably would have thought it was good, but what it spoke to me this time, is not what it would have spoken to me then. Maybe I would be reading through it again, maybe not. But I know without any doubt that God works through this “style of reading” of mine. But is also calling me to dig into His Word more outside of my reading style, and I pray for the grace to be able to do that.

So, Different, what was it all about? In the book, Tomlinson talks about how we are different from God. It’s how He created us (though we are created in the image of the Father, Son, and Spirit), different. He tells us in His word that His thoughts are higher than ours, and His ways are higher than our ways.

One particular section of the chapter, Chris starts a series of paragraphs with “This is also the God”. They go like this…

“We shudder at the prospect of a God so terrifying and powerful, but is also the God who loved the world so much that He sent His one and only Son to suffer and die that horrible death because of what it means for us. Who are we that we merit this kind of sacrifice?

This is also the God who turned the fiercest enemy of the early church into its greatest missionary. Who was Paul that he was counted worthy of this mercy and honor?

This is also the God who ‘chose us in him before the foundation of the world,’ saving us by His grace through our faith irrespective of anything we have ever done. Who are we to receive the glorious inheritance of Christ without doing anything to deserve it?

This is also the God who has gone to prepare a place for His followers, who is coming back again to do away with sin and death and tears, who will create a new heaven and a new earth, and who will dwell with His people forever. Who are we, such fragile and insignificant beings, that we should enjoy all of eternity with this amazing God?

This is also the God who takes it personally when we offer food to the hungry, drink to the thirsty, hospitality to the stranger, clothes to the naked, companionship to the imprisoned, comfrot to the sick, and perhaps even coffee to the cold. What kind of marvelous God is this who identifies with the weakest of humanity?

God is different. He’s much more terrifying than I had imagined but also so much more glorious and beautiful than I thought possible. I’ve spent too many years glossing over hard truths about God in favor of pleasant ones in an attempt to make Him more palatable to my taste or softer to the touch of others’ ears. In the process, I have developed inch-deep beliefs about a mile-high God.”

Inch-deep beliefs about a mile-high God. I don’t know about you, but those words pierced my heart, and cut me deeply. My God is a mile-high (and even that is a limiting term, when in fact He is infinite), and my beliefs in comparison are merely inch-deep (and that, too, seems like a stretch). They only scratch the surface. My comprehension of His love only goes so deep. My right-standing belief about who He is only goes so deep. I only understand so much. Perhaps this is best summed up by Steven Curtis Chapman in the lyrics to his song God is God: “God is God and I am not, I can only see a part of the picture He is painting, God is God and I am man, I will never understand it all, for only God is God.”

Tomlinson goes on to say “It seems that when we encounter a hard truth about God, we either bend our understanding to Him or bend Him to our understanding.” (Are we following and believing in a Creator who created us in His image, or are we creating Him in our image to suit our own selfishness)?

“We all must eventually answer this question: What happens when we look deep inside? What if we find something about ourselves we don’t want to discover? Even worse, what if we find out something about God we didn’t want to know?”

Think about it, examining ourselves is hard enough, but if we learn something new concerning God, we have a higher standard we are expected to live up to… something more He will hold us accountable to, particularly on judgement day. He of course extends us His grace to do so. All we need do is ask in His name, and we will receive!

“How badly do we want this kind of water? [living water] Are we willing to ask Jesus for it? Are we willing to do hard things like being weirdoes for Christ when He tells us to do things we’d rather not? Are we open to doing harder things like examining the parts of our hearts we’ve hidden for so long? Are we ready to do the hardest things like embracing the God of the Bible in all His glorious fury and tenderness?

…believing all the while that it will not only satisfy our cravings for God but also change us in the process. As he goes about changing us, we will begin to more easily turn the other cheek when hit, show love in response to hate, and even show kindness to heat-starved, grumpy cops (based on a story earlier in the chapter). He will grant us the courage to examine our own hearts against the purity of His Son. And He will give us the wisdom to rethink everything we believe about Him, using the sweeping wind of Scripture to blow away the chaff of our superficial faith.

After all, God is in the process of making us different, just like Him.”

Amen, Chris, Amen!

God is in the process of making me different, just like Him! AMEN!

Different.

Hmmm…

Well, a lot of my readers have been on me to post for quite some time now. And a lot of what has been happening in my life lately, I cannot really put into words. At least words of my own. I will let a quote by one of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis sum it up. (Thanks Terry for posting this as your status on facebook)!

“There is someone I love, even though I don’t approve of what he does. There is someone I accept, though some of his thoughts and actions revolt me. There is someone I forgive, though he hurts the people I love the most. That person is me.” – C.S. Lewis

This quote reminds me quite a bit of what Paul wrote when he said in his letter to the Roman church – For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. – Romans 7:15 NKJV

This has been what I have been feeling a lot lately. Not knowing how to deal with intense grief in a way that lets in those I love, rather than alienates them. I don’t want to push you away, yet I have.

Being offended, and letting pride swell up in me, this is not what I want to do, and yet I do it. These actions, and these thoughts, repulse me. Why can’t I just love you?

I know I have so much I need to work on in this gift called life, and I thank Jesus that I am not where I need to be, but praise The Lord I am further than I was yesterday! I thank Jesus that I’ve been able to forgive myself and move on, knowing that He has delivered me, and will bring me from glory to glory.

Now that I’ve got that out, I’ve some more to blog about! So, I visited my aunt and uncle’s home in Illinois a few weekends ago for my cousin’s graduation. It was the first time I had been there since they moved there nearly 10 years ago now. Prior to that they lived in California, and I was never able to visit them there. I am so proud of my cousin, Laura! God is going to take her so far, as she trusts in him. I am so thankful that my aunt and uncle know The Lord, and that their family is striving to legitly follow The Lord! I am also very thankful that my girlfriend, Courtney, was able to go down there with me and meet more of my family, and they LOVE her!

As we were heading down there, I got some really bad news, that my “big sister” Nikki’s 16 year old son, Cody, was in a serious car accident, which he ended up passing away as a result. Praise Jesus that He knew Him! I didn’t know Cody that well, but this hit me so hard. Life is so precious, and in an instant, everything can change. What is normal, anyway? Is it this thing that we get used to in life that allows us to get through our days? It can change in a split second, and then our entire world seems so foreign. This is why we need God the Father. He never changes. He is the only constant. EVERYTHING else in life can, and probably will change.

It is true, that we must rely on God for all of our strength, and this is something that I’ve been learning quite a lot lately. But, He has also given us the concept of community and friendships to strengthen and build us up!

I am reminded of a specific portion of “We Need Each Other” by Sanctus Real that describes a lot of what has been going on in my life…

Life revolves around the need
Of having someone
Causing every complicated feeling
Oh and I don’t want to loose you
And there is nothing wrong with
Telling me what you need
To keep our love strong

It’s just a part of being a family
Taking the good with the bad and the ugly
If we could only learn to love

There are things we all need to work on, and at times, those things need addressing in our relationships with other people; but at the same time, we need to have grace for each other’s faults, and realize that we aren’t perfect, we should always strive to be, but will never achieve it on this earth. Love never fails.. but love also keeps no record of wrongs.. it is also patient. We can’t just take the never failing part, and leave the rest. We can’t hold grudges. We need to be patient with each other.

It has been a beautiful and wonderful thing to fall in love with Courtney all over again! Recently we gave ourselves a boundary that we cannot kiss on the lips.. only cheek pecks, and hands, etc. This has been a fantastic thing, as we don’t spend our time making out. We have had our moments, and our differences of opinion and thought, but one thing that has not, and will never change. I love her. With all that I know to love her with, and that can only increase!

Tomorrow (Monday), Austin takes his driver’s test.. Wow! Am I insane for letting him use my car for the test? Nah. I trust him. I sure hope he passes! Assuming he does, he’ll blow my expectations out of this universe, and I am really hoping that happens (one of the few times I want to be proven wrong) (I think he’s rushing it).

Oh! Recently, I got a new cell phone! I figured that I needed to blog about that.. because my blog tagline is Jesus.. Technology… Life. I talk about Jesus and Life a lot… but I have yet to really address the Technology side. I got the new Blackberry Bold 9650 from Verizon. I really love this phone, and its an excellent upgrade from my Alltel Curve 8330A. I hope to have my next blog post be a comprehensive review of the phone!

Well, blessings all!
- Josh

Figured it out..

I’ve figured out why I haven’t really had coherent thoughts when I’ve tried to blog about different things. Thank You God! Thoughts are now being organized, and after some conversations happen, I will make some posts (or at least a post) being more specific.

I want to thank everyone around me for their prayers and their support, but recently, and my entire life. And most of all, Thank You Jesus, for not covering my sin, but washing it away with Your blood!

Blessings All!
- Josh